Posted: October 5, 2010 in Thoughts

I have been following the Rouvanjit Rawla’s suicide case, student of one of the elite school’s in the country La Martiniere. A few set of discussions popped up again yesterday, because Principal of La Martiniere for Boys – Sunirmal Chakroborty was arrested on Monday along with three teachers on charge of abetment of suicide for the class 8 kid, and later granted bail.

I empathize with Rouvan’s family. I completely agree that Rouvan needs justice, and the legal issues should be appropriately handled. But one things that has been creeping my mind since a very long time, is that how can parents be unknowing of the fact that a 13 yr old kid is so disturbed that he could make his mind to end his life. I am not favouritising or advocating the Principal and the teachers involved, but my point is on a different issue. How can the parents and the siblings couldnot get a clue of what was going in that little kid’s head. I heard Rouvan’s father say that this was not the first time Rouvan was canned/beated up by his teachers but it was an on-going process for the little kid. Here I have one question for Mr Ajay Rawla, how is it possible that the family members were unaware of the little facts thats happening in Rouvan’s life. Let me not get into the nitty griites of the case. But what I wanted to understand is whether the parent-child relationship was strong enough to save the little boy’s life, or as a matter of fact any Parent- child relationship that can hold back the little one from taking such a drastic step.

What I strongly believe is a child’s development is greatly dependent upon the bond they have with both parents. I had a very healthy childhood, where I could confide everything to my father. Anything I could discuss and confess. That made a huge difference in my upbringing, becuase I always felt, back home there is someone, who could understand what i feel, who will ‘believe’ what I say. Because gaining  trust of parents in the teen age days always seems impossible. When you know you are being trusted, facing the world becomes really easy. You just dont seem to be scared of the challenges that are thrown at you. Its very important I feel that all of us should build a strong bond with our parents or children (whichever is applicable). Bonding with the child provides him with the framework for how he views himself and the world around him. Perhaps more importantly, that bond will determine how well they form relationships with others throughout their life.

My request to all the readers, my friends (who are already a parent or who are in the process), family and all. Its very important to understand your child, understanding his passions, likings, dreams, even his nightmares will only help you to be closer to your child. Judging him on his potential not your expectations will ease a lot of complexities. Just like with any relationship, building a positive relationship between parent and child is one that requires work and effort to make it strong and successful. Parenting is a tough job, and maintaining close relationships and open communications helps to ensure parents and their children stay connected through all ages of their upbringing.

Lets understand the true essence of the juvenescence.

I had an amazing childhood, I hope I too can give it to my children.

Much Love


  1. Roni says:

    the writing was very nice i totally agree on your point..but i think the teachers should be punished also….

  2. barna biswas says:

    didi…writing was awesome as ususal….atlst dere r still sum people in the world who cum of their daily activities of their life n take keen interest in matters which r to be really taken cARE of…….hope rouvanjit get his justice we pray for it……..

  3. Shukti Shuvra says:

    i too had been wondering and analysing the facts of the kid’s unfortunate consequence.i completely agree with you.parenting is one of the toughest jobs.i had a great childhood and i am blessed with incredible parents/family and i know your parents extremely well.i just love them for what they are.i too have experiences regarding……:-). i too have the same question.hhow could the parents not know about the traumas the child had faced!!!about his silent unspoken turbulances.didnt they have the heart,mind or eyes to glance at him even for a while and realise what was happening inside that confused and helpless li’l brain??????too busy?too pre occupied………….were they??????!!!!!!!i scorn and intensely look down upon such incompetent,callous and insensitive people and i dont feel sorry for what i said.

  4. Debarati Gangopadhyay says:

    Nice writing ! I am sort of discovering you through your writings. Keep the good work going.Tintin is 12 going on 13 now. Though the three of us share a very sweet,healthy and treasured relationship yet I would say parenting is a very tough job. It requires lots and lots of patience,understanding,sacrifice along with a bit of intelligence.Spending quality time with the child and having lots of conversation matters a lot.I am a mother and was a teacher recently,so I think I can see both the sides.

    • Ritu says:

      Thanx masi, I know Tintin is blessed to have parents like u and mesho. Open communications is very important, and I know how greatly u 3 are bonded. I know how much effort it takes to build it..But u 2 have always done the great work, much at ease.. Tc 🙂

  5. I have been following this case for a long time. Initially I was quite suprised to find out that a kid committed suicide because the headmaster caned him. A kid will commit suicide for a mere caning.
    Parenting is the main issue here. The kid must have been molly coddled from his damn birth. Probably his parents were over-protective or have completly neglected him. Bottom line is that the kid did not have the mental fortitude. Probably very few friends at school/colony. I wonder what the kid must be have been the kid’s thought process when he was about to commit the act. Such whishy – washy namby pamby non-sense and soul extirpating sense of self pity should be eradicated from a childs mind right from the begining. Parents ought to support their kids and keep balance on their love and affection.
    Now the deranged kid has gotten himself killed and placed a huge emotional burden on the shoulders of the teachers and the parents. I am sure the teachers will think thrice before discipling a student and thereby form a lax attitude in discipling the students. I am not even thinking of home.. mostly parents cannot discipline their own kids and thereby they either laud them with extravagant gifts or take a harsh step in disciplinging the child. Consequence of this event, there will be more rotten kids with severe emotional and psychological issues as they grow up. i hope that kid burns in hell because for his stupid action has caused authorities in framing much more severe and stringent rules in discipling the kids. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Hmph!

  6. Swetak says:

    the moment I completed reading ur blog….I went to read Rouvanjit Rawla’s suicide case..really a painful incident..and you have rightly stated…”How can the parents and the siblings couldn’t get a clue of what was going in that little kid’s head”. Such incidents are occurring more in our country.Just like with any relationship, building a positive relationship between parent and child is one that requires work and effort to make it strong and successful. Parenting is a tough job, and maintaining close relationships and open communications helps to ensure parents and their children stay connected through all ages of their upbringing.Hope we all, prove to be better parents…and let a child be a child…!!!

  7. surabhi says:

    a very valid and pinching concern in today’s times…. thanks for bringing it to our notice… must say the writing is thought provoking and creates an impact instantaneously… keep it up ritu… :):)

  8. Raj says:

    Well depicted Ritu, agree with you on the same….childhood should be set free and not controlled….three cheers

  9. Ritu says:

    @ Sweta, surabhi and RV: Thanx for dropping some lines, and encouragement

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